The Dos and Don’ts of Handmade Gifts

Editor’s Note: Last year I spent two or three months secretly crocheting a green and black Minecraft “creeper” blanket for my son. He found me on the porch swing one day while I was working on it and asked what I was making. I told a little white lie to keep it a surprise, saying that it was a forest-inspired afghan. The alibi made it easier for me to complete it without suspicion, although I still crocheted it many mornings before he woke and many evenings after he went to bed.

Why all the time and effort? Because handmade gifts are meaningful. I can tell you that a year later, he still sleeps with his creeper blanket, this symbol of my love for him. Inspired? Before you begin your next handmade gift, see what Seth Apter has to say about gift giving (and gift-receiving) guidelines in this free article from the November/December issue of Cloth Paper Scissors. ~Cherie Dos and Don'ts of Handmade Gifts | ClothPaperScissors.com

The Dos and Don’ts of Handmade Gifts

by Seth Apter

Every year, as the holiday season approaches, my thoughts turn to gift giving. As an artist, my own artwork makes up a good deal of the stash of presents I give, and I sometimes make cards as well. On the flip side, I also receive many handmade items from artist and non-artist friends throughout the year for various occasions.

This got me thinking about the hows and whys and the dos and don’ts of giving handmade gifts. Why do people give handmade gifts in the first place? Does the giver have different expectations of the recipient when the gift is handmade? Are these handcrafted gifts appreciated by the receiver, or do they somehow add an extra burden or level of obligation that might not be appreciated?

In the best-case scenario, the maker has given thoughtful consideration to the gift, planning it with the recipient in mind. The maker loves the art and feels it reflects the sentiment she wants to share. The recipient is thrilled, genuinely compliments the artist, and proudly displays the object. They then live happily ever after, or at least until the next occasion that requires a gift.

Dos and Don'ts of Handmade Gifts | ClothPaperScissors.com
4 Others 4 Self by Seth Apter

But we all know that the best-case scenario doesn’t always occur, and that gift giving can sometimes make for awkward moments. Let’s explore the hows and whys before moving on to the dos and don’ts.

For the maker, there is typically so much more to a handmade gift than the object itself. You’re also giving the time and energy that went into your creation and sharing your passion for your craft. As your art is an expression of who you are, you are truly giving a piece of yourself.

However, gift giving can also be less romanticized than the above description implies. The artist or crafter who has shelves of handmade items may just want to clear space for more, pass on work that they no longer make or love, or simply not be able to afford to give store-bought gifts. All of these are valid reasons to move something to the gift pile.

As the maker, once you choose and give the gift, do you have different expectations or hopes when you are gifting something you made, even if you don’t always admit it? Perhaps some of the following apply to you:
• You hope to hear a compliment or praise in a way that wouldn’t matter to you if you had bought the present.
• You’re disappointed or frustrated if it’s clear that the recipient doesn’t like the gift when it’s opened.
• When you visit the recipient, you look to see if your gift is displayed.

Thoughts and feelings such as these are relevant to the receiver, too. Think about times when you were given a handmade gift. What happens when you don’t like a gift, even though you may appreciate the sentiment and thought behind it? How do you balance being honest with not hurting the gift giver’s feelings? Do you feel more obligated to keep and/or display a gift when it is handmade and perhaps feel guilty if you don’t? Would you ever consider re-gifting it and passing it on to somebody who might appreciate it more?

Dos and Don'ts of Handmade Gifts | ClothPaperScissors.com
Spark by Seth Apter

There are obviously no formal rules when it comes to handmade gift giving, but some sensible guidelines–the dos and don’ts–might be helpful.

For the maker:

• Consider the tastes and likes of the recipient before you choose what to make or give.

• Remember that just as you don’t like all of the artwork you see, nobody else does either. Therefore, keep your expectations at bay, and don’t take it too personally if your gift is not loved.

• Change it up. If you’ve already given a person one of your handmade books, maybe it’s time to give something different.

• Recall past experiences. If you noticed that the recipient didn’t seem to embrace your handmade gift, think twice before going in that direction again.

• As a rule of thumb, only give handmade gifts that you love and are proud of.

For the receiver: Cloth Paper Scissors

• If you know your friend or family member is an artist, be prepared in advance to receive handmade gifts.

• If you’re disappointed in the handmade gift itself, remember that the giver put a lot of time and energy into its creation. That is a part of the gift that you can fully appreciate.

• There is always something nice to say about a piece of art and a thoughtful gift. Mention, for example, that you love the colors or the surface texture in the work.

• Don’t feel obligated to display something you don’t like, or feel guilty when you don’t. Once a gift is given, it’s yours to do with what you like.

And for all parties involved, remember it’s truly the thought that counts. Happy holidays! ~Seth

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One thought on “The Dos and Don’ts of Handmade Gifts

  1. I just wanted to thank you for this article but wanted to point out an omission when you said “sentiment she wants to share” this should have reflected a he/she or she/he sentiment. As an artist who works in many different medias quilting, art, crochet and many others. It is true that when we we create a gift for someone it is a true reflection of how we feel about them. A few years ago I crocheted twin bed sized afghans for our 6 grandchildren and each one was different in pattern and obviously color combinations but it was a reflection of each individual child. I still have several afghans that my Maternal Grandmother had given me when I was a teenager and then the ones that she gave my wife and I after we got married, so some of them are more than 50 years old. Your article was very thoughtful and no we cannot expect everyone to feel the same way about what we have made but it is in the spirit that it is given that we have done our part. Thanks again for your thoughtful article.

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